Man Rules Finally Written By A Man

Finally a guy has taken the time to write the man rules. We always hear "Man Rules" written by a female but finally Mans Rules from a Man.
These are the Man Rules. Notice they are all #1. That is on purpose!!
1) Men are not mind readers
1) Learn to work the toilet seat. If its up, put it down. You're a big girl.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1) Sunday sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tide. Let it be.
1) Crying is blackmail
1) Ask for what you want. Lets be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work. Just say what you want.
1) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to any question
1) Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. Thats what we do.
You can get sympathy from your girl friends.
1) Any thing we said six months ago is inadmissable in an argument
1) If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1) If something we said can be interpreted 22 ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, well we meant the other one.
1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know how best to do it, then just do it yourself.
1) Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during the commercials
1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions. What makes you think we do ?
1) All men see in 16 colors like window default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. It is not a color
1) If it itches, it will get scratched. We do that.
1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong.
We know you are lying but its just not worth the hassle
1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, then expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1) When we have to go somewhere absolutely anything you choose to wear is fine.
Really.
1) Don't ask what we are thinking about unless you really want to talk about hockey
1) You have enough clothes
1) You have enough shoes
1) I am in shape - Round is a shape
1) I don't mind sleeping on the couch. Its kind of like camping