Unprecedented

A seven year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Blue Bombers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

And another one:
In the case of a tornado in the Winnipeg area, please head directly to Bomber Stadium.
Chances of a touchdown there are extremely unlikely!