Two more National Hockey League executives have climbed on Gary Bettman's "you got to follow the rules" bandwagon in regards to Jim Balsillie's bid to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move them to Hamilton.
John Davidson, President of the St.Louis Blues, says you have to have structure and Jim Balsillie has to follow the rules.
His comments were repeated (just pull my string) by Ottawa Senators General Manager Brian Murray who says there is a procedure here and Balsillie has to follow the procedure. Sounds like the old boys network just had a meeting doesn't it.
Well free of charge and with no requests to be added to Balsillie's payroll (now thats the Wright deal isn't it?) I have some suggestions for Jim if he really wants to land an NHL franchise, Hamilton or anywhere.
First you have to steal and modify a song made popular by Little Texas. Remember the song, You Got to Kick A Little Ass.
Well in this case Mr. Balsillie, you are going to have to change kick for kiss. You got to Kiss a little ass.
Start with NHL President Gary Bettman. You are going to have to pucker up Jim. Then you have to move over to Bill Daly.
Remember he's the NHL executive with the comment "We don't start fights, we end them" when discussing the Phoenix move.
Then while you're down there you might as well give Colin Campbell a smooch too. You know it can't hurt, he's got a thankless job. It might go a long way.
Don't get up yet Jim. There is more. Don't forget Thomas Golisano. He's the owner of the Buffalo Sabres, a team really threatened by a franchise in Hamilton.
But you're not done yet Jim. And here's the big one. The entire board of directors of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, but maybe we can just get Brian Burke to fill in.
This is important Jim. The biggest obstacle to your franchise in Hamilton is not about you're not following the rules, its not even about the Buffalo Sabres. Its the Toronto Maple Leafs Jim. What if you're new team is better than the Leafs? I mean how hard can that be? How would the center of the universe handle it if this new team made the playoffs or even worse, won
the Stanley Cup? Remember 1967. Most Leaf fans don't either it was so long ago but that is the last time Toronto Maple Leafs won anything.
And Jim, I even have a name for your new team. How about the Hamilton Humiliators because that would best describe what Leaf fans will be feeling when shortly Hamilton hosts a Stanley Cup parade. Toronto hasn't seen one of those in 40 years.
So there you go Jim. Make some modifications to Little Texas. Remember its "You Got to KISS A Little Ass"
And about that spot on your payroll. I was just kidding. You can call me anytime.
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