Writing has always been a form of therapy for me so as I write this I do so as to pay tribute to my Mother who passed away September 16, 2009 and to bring glory and honor to the name of God and the number of mini miracles that ocurred as this funeral was being planned. It is there for anyone who wishes to read and again not to bring accolades or attention my way but to glorify and thank our Saviour, who kindness I know I do not deserve. For people who do not know our family dynamics, some of this may be hard to understand but today I am thankful for my Mother and for the fitting funeral service which recognized her life and her faithfulness to God and we believe as a family she is with him today.
Wednesday September 16, 2009
The call came from my sister Joan of Edmonton, Alberta that our Mother had passed away. Numerous times since that call I have been asked "Was your Mothers death unexpected?" I find that a difficult question to answer. She was 88. We expected she would die. Did we expect her death on Wednesday, September 16th. No we did not.
She went into hospital about a week prior experiencing difficulties. Doctors report that by
Tuesday, September 15th, she was rebounding. There was talk about allowing her to go home. At 2:30pm she slipped away into death but into the newness of life in her Saviour. I am told this is often the case. Signs of recovering are there and then suddenly death. I have some thoughts on that but will keep them to myself.
The call hit us hard. What to do now? So many questions.
1) What about the funeral?
2) Where will it be held?
3) Where will we find a Minister?
4) It has to be a Christian funeral, not just with a funeral director
5) Where will she be laid to rest? My Dad's lies in the Trochu, Alberta cemetery,
a good distance from Hinton. How do we get the body there?
6) And of course all the usual financial concerns and all the legal things that
must be done.
We retired for the night leaving many of those questions unanswered.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday - September 17, 18 & 19/2009
After long hours on the telephone with my sister Joan in Edmonton and my brother Keith in
Hinton, Alberta it was agreed that I would handle the funeral arrangements.
Keith, who had been our Mothers primary caregiver would act as a liason between
the Edson funeral home and all of us would stay connected on the funeral
arrangements. Here is where many of the miracles and the hand of God would become
evident.
I might add to anyone who has ever planned a funeral, it is not easy and at this
point, I thank my wife Louise for her support and wisdom in dealing with many
things including the legalities. In her employment she has gained valuable wisdom
in dealing with wills, estates, CPP death benefits, names and numbers of agencies
that have to be contacted and her assistance was invaluable.
The first minor miracle - find a pastor to conduct the service. We were all in
agreement. Mom was a Christain and she should have a Christian service.
Our Father passed away in 1994. He was an accomplished and well known musician
in church circles and elsewhere throughout Alberta. His funeral was a testimonial
to God, to music and to his way of life. Mom was his help mate, more in the
background, but also a strong Christian and a pianist. Why should her funeral
service be any less?
The difficulty. Where do you find a Minister? Due to failing health she had not
established a church connection in Hinton and even Edson was a distant memory.
How do you find someone to take the service and bring meaning to her life?
Among the many things that had to be done was contact friends and extended family
and let them know about the impending funeral. I remembered one of Mom and Dad's
closest friends. Vern and Dorothy Carmack. As couples they had been life long
friends. Vern had run into some tough times early in his life and Mom and Dad
took him and his family and provided shelter for some three months establishing
an unbreakable bond. The trouble was we had no idea where Vern and Dorothy were
and even if they were still living. Some-one, Joan I think, thought she had heard
they were in Spruce Grove. I tried. No luck. After several more futile
attempts I called Edmonton directory assistance. To make a long story short there
was no Vern and Dorothy Carmacks listed. I picked a Carmack, phoned and left
a message on an answering machine. In a few short hours
THE Vern Carmack returned
my call. We had last seen Vern and Dorothy at Dad's funeral in 1994. Since that
time Vern had become an ordained Minister. He hates the title "Reverend" so it
was Pastor Vern. Well Pastor Vern offered to conduct the service. Dorothy
offered to play the organ. What a perfect fit. You could not find anyone closer
to Mom than this beautiful couple. And the first miracle and answer to our
prayers.
The second miracle came in finding a soloist. The answer was Marilyn Simons from
the Edson Baptist Church and her friend and accompaniest Annie Burnet. Marilyn
sang one of Mom's favourites "It Is Well With My Soul" and then later she
finished with "Be Still My Soul". Absolutely beautiful and honoring to Mom
.
The third miracle came in my writing of the eulogy and also along with the
required vital statistics.
First the eulogy. I wanted a eulogy that honored Mom. But there was so many
blanks that we couldn't fill in. We knew she was born in Carstairs, Alberta.
We knew she had met Dad somewhere in the MacLeod Valley. But how did it all
come about? Well Marion Forbes had the answers. This beautiful elderly lady
had been a friend of Mom's and the family. Through a series of phone calls I was
put in touch with the one everyone calls "Auntie Marion". Well Auntie Marion was
a living encyclopedia. She filled me in on everything. Dates, purchasing of the
family homestead. How they travelled. How old Mom was as they travelled to the
homestead, right down to the number of cows that they took with them as they
journeyed in 1933 to their new homestead in the MacLeod Valley.
Apparently I come from a long line of writers as Marion brought to the funeral a journal that my
Grandmother Matilda West (Mom's mom) had written. Haven't got to reading it
yet but there is even a picture of Grandma Maltilda at her 93rd birthday along
with her sons Fred and Glen, my Mom's brothers and Mom herself. And included is the full homestead story.
It for me will be "required reading". Add another small miracle.
My Dad also was a writer. He wrote a little book, Reminiscence, Two Alberta
Towns. Much information was gathered from there and included in the eulogy which
was read eloquently by our son Timothy Hiatt.
I also must thank my cousin Jimmy West and his wife Sharon who live in the
Edson area. They were on the phone getting word and information out to people
and we as a family are truly grateful to them for that.
The rest of the arrangements are a blur. Edson Funeral Home took care of many of
them including the internment and transportation of Mom's earthly remains to
Trochu, Alberta to be laid to rest beside Dad.
The funeral service was beautiful and fitting. I have already mentioned the
Preacher and the singers. Vern included a strong salvation message. I knew he
would and he left no doubts in anyones mind with his question "Is it Well With
Your Soul?
Can you say a highlight of the funeral. Do funeral services have highlights?
Well for me included in the congregation was on of Dad's youngest sister Roberta.
To us it was Aunt Berta. What a joy to see her there and to know that Dad still
has a living sibling. She is 95 and she looks great. Thanks again to Jimmy for
getting the word out.
In conclusion there are so many people to thank. I have mentioned some but again
thank you to my wife Louise for her expertise. Vital Statistics even needed to
know where my Mom's parents were born and we tracked that down and thank you for
your knowledge of the for lack of a better term, the business side of death and
funerals. Thank you to my sister Joan and her husband John Lehman. Your support
and backing as it all came together was wonderful. Thank you to my brother Keith
and his daughters Rana and Leone. They were Mom's primary caregivers for many
months and thank you for that.
To Pastor Vern and Dorothy, Marilyn and Annie, Jimmy and Sharon West, Marion
Forbes. And to my kids Timothy and Jennifer. Thank you for caring and for your
love. I am indebted to you all.
Larry
